• The economy sucks but, we are working on it
• Russia is murdering a bunch of folks. My son and I tried to warn you!
• Inflation is going to blow up the thermometer until I am out of office
• Gas prices are “Going Through The Roof”
• “Critical Race Theory” is now available in our schools and the kids don’t have to mask up
• We will soon have a vice President
• Donald Trump is going to be impeached again
• We have truck parades now, cool huh?
• The Southern Border has completely disappeared, we are looking for it!
• Climate Change has been suspended
• China will probably invade Taiwan during my presidency and yes, I got paid!

But……….

“The Pandemic is over, you don’t have to wear your masks anymore… You know, the thing! The State of our Union is good, and I met Brandon, God Bless the United States of Ukraine!”