We, the grass roots, extremist right-wing, Trump-loving Jews, would like to extend our warmest gratitude in electing one Joe Biden. Especially at this time. You were so right all along, our “Nazi” (in your words) President Trump (not your President, of course) kept much too much peace in the world. You were so right to seek Twitter peace above all other kinds; peace in Israel is for the birds.

Today, after 1800 rocket bombardments over the tiny Jewish State, we are comforted by the thought that you no longer feel distraught by Trump’s daily tweets and unsavory TV appearances.

Likewise, we are comforted in knowing that your brand of Tikkun Olam works so well for you, Israel be dammed.

Our racist, homophobic, and misogynist Russian Spy President (your words again) did irreparable harm. You called it from the start. Let’s reminisce, shall we?

We recall your heeded warnings about an outright bloody war with the Muslim world when President Trump reaffirmed Jerusalem as the Capital of Israel and moved his embassy there. How right you were…or were you?

We recall your dire warnings when The Golan was reaffirmed as sovereign to Israel by our 45th. Once more, you warned us about the oncoming onslaught. How right you were, yet again….

Your trembling knees almost buckled when President Trump supported Netanyahu’s exposé of Iran’s nuclear program and everything else the Israeli PM said over the last four years.

Your notable “courage” in support of Israel and her people showed its predictable face when our President firmly supported legitimizing settlements in Judea and Shamron. Without delay, you warned us of the inevitable and unavoidable World War III by complete Islamic coalition against Israel. Instead, Abraham Accords were signed and ISIS entirely eliminated. How right you were…

We recall your rabid loathing of a President who single-handedly changed the entire paradigm of Middle East peace-plan politics by producing, one after another, Abraham Accords with Muslim countries. You were correct, again: peace in the Middle East is simply too boring and your electoral choice is doing so much better in 2021. In fact, he quickly and single-handedly returned the Middle East to the status quo of 65 years of bloodshed, pre-Trump. We bow to your infinite wisdom.

Oh and do we ever remember your reform clergy! All four hundred of them and their very public condemnation letters of our President. They took out newspaper centerfolds for their barrage of acrimonious inquisition, while our black-hatted Rabbis, for the first time in American history, celebrated Hanukkah and Rosh Hashanah with the President of United States and his profoundly Jewish family.

Memory is long but your attention span is short and so is your ability to connect the dots. We will palliate, lest we offend your truths and run the risk of uttering facts.

Today, we congratulate you on the re-establishment of $300 Million annual American funding of terrorism in the Middle East (courtesy of pandemic-suffering American tax payers, of course.) Your fit and articulate President Joe Biden saw the light that our President couldn’t; pouring hard cash into Palestinian Arab terrorist pockets keeps Israel and everyone safe. Why were we so blind not to see the wisdom in that?

Our racist ilk, likewise, recalls your head-shaking at President Trump’s defunding of Israel’s number one enemy and mortal threat, Iran. We clearly recollect that you voted for Barack Obama, the one who called for the return to 1967 Israel borders, pronounced most of Israel illegitimate in Jewish hands by UN resolution #2334, and delivered $150 Billion in funding to the Ayatollahs who chant “Death to Israel” and burn Israeli flags. Same enemy that can’t build nukes fast enough to drive not-your Israel into the sea.

Difficult to forget how you loathed Trump’s staunch stance against Israel’s demise in favour of your political fragility and political correctness that ensured your acceptance into polite leftist company. Yet you were right, again. Nuclear and well-funded Iran by your President is so much more fun – look at what Iran’s wholly-owned subsidiary, Hamas, is doing to Israel today?

And, of course, Tikkun Olam it is. Your Biden is so silent on this inconvenient Middle East matter today, one has to wonder if he’s still breathing. And you, woke Jewish American liberals, are even more silent. Just as you are anytime Israel is under fire. Not your problem. Not your country. Not your war. Finally, your votes paid off, Tikkun Olam is all yours. And Biden’s abandonment of Israel is hardly a matter for you to lose sleep over.

For four long years, you’ve fought for social justice. You sent your kids to woke universities, taught them that hate trumps anything the 45th President did for his own country, the Jewish people and their Jewish State. Whether he prayed at the Wall or visited Israel as his first foreign trip as President, your hate of him was livid, vivid and served as a great example to your youth. Today your offspring are holding up “Free Palestine” signs, marching with BDS and are bashing Israel on every social media platform for defending its right to exist. You taught them well. You were right, again…

Likewise, the fruit of your labour stands shoulder to shoulder with BLM. And thank God for that. BLM has long stated their hatred of Israel as an apartheid state and an oppressive colonialist force in the Middle East. Their Marxism and rampant anti-Semitism is hardly of your concern; it tends to interrupt your Tikkun Olam.

We are thrilled that you have your social justice that goes by the name of Joe Biden. Ours has a name too, IDF. And Donald Trump, that racist.

All of us are happy in wishing you Covid-free health after you’ve taken the Trump Warp Speed Vaccine. We hope it’s not the snake’s venom you and your elected democrat leaders repeatedly told us it is before they took office.

And while you enjoy your surging DOW, return to your favorite restaurants, events and your overall peaceful American host-country life under sleepy and absent Joe, we will continue to worry about our Israeli friends and relatives sitting in bomb shelters. We will continue to send our children to be lone soldiers. We will continue to teach them to shun your brainwashing liberal media and your virtue-signaling Hollywood.